Coweta County 4-H helps teens be relationship smart

By BILL HAMMOND, Coweta 4-H Youth Development Agent

By the age of 18, it is estimated that 95 percent of teens will have experience in romantic relationships.

Teens who are in healthy relationships are more likely to feel better about themselves, have higher self-esteem levels, achieve more in school, and have better relationships with their families. About one in five teens say most of their friends are in unhealthy relationships and one in ten teens have been hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend.

Does your teen have the emotional intelligence to handle challenging situations in his or her dating relationships?

Developmentally, one of the ways adolescents explore who they are is through relationships. How adolescents approach these relationships is influenced by the relationships modeled around them. While some youth may have witnessed and learned about positive couple interactions from good models, many may have witnessed only poor models of couple relationships. Educational programs on healthy relationships can help youth develop skills to make smart relationship choices and avoid risky behaviors. The decision-making and relationship-building skills youth can learn through this programming can also spill over into other relationships with parents, peers, and teachers.

Dating is an opportunity for teens to learn about themselves and what they want in a future long-term committed relationship. Forming healthy relationships can help teens learn important skills such as cooperation, appropriate behavior, compromise, sensitivity, and the ability to understand others’ feelings. These skills can lead to future healthy relationships in adulthood. On the other hand, unhealthy relationships can put teens at risk for early sexual activity, depression, and poor social skills. Wise choices will assist teens in achieving their education, employment, relationship, and family goals, while poor relationship choices may create barriers to these goals.

Love Notes is a research-based curriculum designed for high school teens that incorporates hands-on activities to focus on skills and knowledge necessary for healthy dating relationships. The curriculum, developed by The Dibble Institute, offers developmentally appropriate information that addresses personal development, goals and values, what healthy (vs abusive) relationships look like, current relationship dynamics, and important communications skills. It appeals to young people’s aspirations, rather than merely emphasizing what they must avoid.

The first lessons explore who the teens are and what they expect for their future. Lessons continue with discussions about the characteristics of relationships including recognizing if it is healthy or unhealthy, making smart decisions, and having good communication skills. The curriculum builds to include the six parts of intimacy (Hint: it’s not only physical), the dangers of moving too fast in relationships, and the burdens that could happen with unhealthy relationships. Each lesson ends with a “Parent-Teen Connection” where teens are encouraged to have honest discussions with parents and trusted adults. Parents play a very important role in helping their teens learn what is healthy in a relationship and what is not. Parents can also help teens better understand the feelings they experience and how to manage them.

To learn more about the Love Notes curriculum for your child, you are invited to attend a virtual Q&A session hosted by Mr. Bill Hammond on Thursday, February 16th at 6:30 pm. Contact the Coweta County Extension office at 770-254-2620 or email 4-H Agent Bill Hammond at [email protected] to sign up. 

For a short overview about the Relationship Smarts program, visit bit.ly/relationshipsmarts 

Bill Hammond is the Coweta County 4-H Youth Development Agent. His role includes overseeing all 4-H programming in the county including specialty clubs, S.A.F.E. (Shooting Awareness, Fun and Education) teams, volunteers, school clubs, and other 4-H programs and events.