Senior Living Advice: Preventing the Phone Call No One Wants to Answer
By BETH DOW, Home Helpers Home Care
The call came in June. I hung up the phone in disbelief. Our friend was gone.
This wasn’t someone who seemed depressed. On the contrary, they appeared to have everything: a wonderful spouse, a new home, a long-awaited retirement. Life was good. Life was just beginning. Or so we thought.
I have personally known five people whose lives ended in suicide. I have struggled to understand why someone decides to end their own life.
When Ashley and Wynonna Judd announced the death of their mother, Naomi Judd, their joint statement was: “We lost our beautiful mother to the disease of mental illness.” Just as someone may lose their life to cancer or heart disease, their mom lost her life to mental illness. She didn’t choose mental illness, just as a person doesn’t choose cancer. Mental illness, like cancer, is not a choice. For those of us left behind, to find meaning and understanding in these situations, we must keep this in mind.
While adults over the age of 65 make up only 12 percent of the population, they also account for 17 percent of all suicides in the US.
Depression is a leading cause of suicide among older adults. For many, depression in later years can arise from various factors such as the loss of a spouse or close friends, social isolation and the shift from a working life to retirement. These challenges can lead to feelings of purposelessness, a diminished sense of identity, and reduced social engagement. Cognitive decline and dementia are critical factors that can lead to suicidal thoughts. The fear of losing one’s mental faculties and becoming dependent on others can be overwhelming.
Financial stress is another significant contributor. Many older adults live on fixed incomes and may struggle with medical expenses, housing costs, or supporting dependents. Financial instability can lead to feelings of helplessness and worthlessness.
To prevent suicide in older adults, our friends and family members must begin with open and honest communication. We must be keenly aware of personality changes and not just write them off as someone acting weird or having a bad day. We must encourage seeking medical attention for depression. Just as someone readily goes to the doctor for physical issues, we must actively discuss the benefits of proactively taking care of our mental health.
Social support is another critical component of prevention. Encourage your friends and family members to stay connected. Programs that promote social engagement – such as senior centers, volunteer opportunities and hobby groups – can provide a sense of belonging and purpose. People need to be around other people. We all need to stay involved in life.
I hope you never get the phone call my husband and I received. I hope I never receive one like it again, but I am afraid that will not be the case. If you feel you are struggling with depression, talk about it with friends and family members and/or talk to your doctor. Depression is a disease. A disease that, if addressed and treated, can be managed and does not have to end in death. If you need help, you can call or text the suicide and crisis hotline at 988.
September is National Suicide Prevention Month. Let’s all do our part in learning more about this subject so you don’t get that phone call no one wants to answer.
Beth Dow is a Dementia and Alzheimer’s Educator, CAEd and Geriatric Care Manager. She is also the owner of Home Helpers of GA & AL in Newnan. Readers can contact her by email at [email protected].
