Senior Living Advice: The love, sacrifices and strengths of Moms

By BETH DOW, Home Helpers Home Care

This will be my fourth Mother’s Day without my mom. Actually a lot longer than that.

Mom had Alzheimer’s for over 15 years. Truth be known, I have been mom-less for more like eight years. If you have had a parent or a loved one who has lived with this devastating disease, you understand.

Momma was 18 years old when she had my sister. Six years later, I was born. In between momma had four miscarriages. I just don’t know if I would have had the strength to continue to try. This was almost 70 years ago. There were no fertilization specialists.

You just tried, hoped, prayed, got your heart broken and tried again.

When the pregnancy with me stuck, it wasn’t easy. She had toxemia. And I was a whale when I was born. Nine pounds, 12 ounces –big by today’s standards. A Shamu 65 years ago.

Momma didn’t graduate high school. When daddy went to Vietnam, she needed to make more money than her Davison’s store clerk job paid, and she took a course and got a job as an OR (operations room) Tech. I do remember my momma loving that job.

She worked long hours – my grandmother lived with us at the time – missed my daddy and took care of us.
When daddy came home from war, he was a different man. He drank. A lot. It was not easy. Momma survived ovarian cancer. So many are not that fortunate.

We didn’t have a lot of money, but I never realized it. I honestly thought that corn bread and milk was her favorite dinner, and we would have it at least once or twice a week.

While daddy drank away a lot of our money, momma figured out how to get me on the trip to Washington, D.C. with my 6th grade class and how to pay for Drill Team uniforms when I was in high school.

Momma stayed with her husband, my dad, until he stopped drinking in his 50s. Once sober, he became a wonderful husband, father to then- adult daughters, and grandfather. Daddy was an Agent Orange recipient and spent a lot of time sick and in the hospital. Momma shouldered all of that.

As I look back today, I am sad that when I was younger that I never truly realized what a strong, phenomenal person my mom was then. I am thankful that we had a close relationship and that I had the honor of holding her in my arms when she took her last breath. I do miss her every day.

If you still have your mom, recognize all the love and sacrifices and strength that it took her to get where she is today. And if you need to, give her a break. From my personal experience as a mom to two and grandmomma to four, I can tell you I know I don’t get it right a lot of the time, I know that I have messed up, and I know that I love each one of them more than anything in the world.

Life with a mom is so much better than life without one. This month and every month, Happy Mother’s Day to everyone who is a mom and to everyone that has a mom.

Beth Dow is a Dementia and Alzheimer’s Educator, CAEd and Geriatric Care Manager. She is also the owner of Home Helpers of GA & AL in Newnan. Readers can contact her by email at [email protected].