By John A. Winters, Publisher
I was driving in the car with the Youngest SON of Thunder when “that” jingle came on.
“Listen to this,” I said.
Said jingle jingles through the radio speakers.
“Wait, what?” he replied.

A few seconds later the same verse comes around.
“That’s disgusting,” he said in a somewhat disgusted tone. Now when a 14-year-old male finds something disgusting, well …
The ditty was part of a new ad campaign by Charmin, as in the bathroom tissue brand. The advertising world calls the campaign “bold.” But these types also call someone dressed in a trash bag strutting down a catwalk during Paris Fashion Week “trendsetting.”
I digress.
The tune that was now stuck in both our minds and the particular phrase in question was, “My hiney’s so Charmin shiny.”
At this point we will take a break so everyone can “Google” said phrase and can find the song on YouTube complete with a family of red bears dancing along to it.
And we’re back.
Anyone remember Mr. Whipple? He was the grocery guy who would chastise women shoppers for squeezing the Charmin, only to be caught doing that very thing seconds later in the commercial. I miss him now.
I really don’t care to hear that jingle. I find it somewhat offensive, but I’m not going to freak out, start a petition to free the red bears or storm Charmin’s corporate office. I’m just going to change the channel.
Because honestly, I’m getting tired and offended of everyone being so offended.
Case in point, actress Gal Gadot, who played Wonder Woman in the movie of the same name, is taking heat for a comment she made in a tribute to the late Stephen Hawking. She tweeted “Rest in peace Dr. Hawking. Now you’re free of any physical constraints …”
According to various published reports, “many called the actress insensitive and “ableist,” or discriminative against people who are disabled. I admit, I had to look that word up.
And then there’s Sarah Hall, who is raising cane because her six-year-old brought home the book Sleeping Beauty. She claimed it promoted “inappropriate” sexual behaviour. Said behaviour apparently is due to the prince kissing the sleeping princess without asking permission first.
Of course, the prince can’t ask the princess if it’s okay to kiss her because she’s sleeping. And the only way she will walk up from this sleep is if the prince kisses her first. And how is she supposed to give permission for the prince to kiss her because she’s asleep? And if he does kiss her is he being insensitive to her feelings and …
Nevermind. All this attempt at being non-offensive is making my head hurt and takes up way too much time.
I think what we need is to start a “conversation” about why Charmin chose red bears instead of blue, or yellow or … maybe everyone just chill.
*****
On a completely different, and much happier note, the May edition of The Paper marks its one-year anniversary. We started with 2,500 copies and less than 50 distribution points.
We are now distributing 6,000 copies each month and have more than 100 distribution points. More importantly, we’ve been able to gather a great group of writers, each experts in their field, who make each issue better than the one before.
We believe The Paper serves a much needed niche in our community. Our growth shows we are right. So on behalf of everyone here at Winters Media & Publishing, Inc., we’d like to send a big thanks to our advertisers for their support, to our writers for their words and to our readers for taking time out of their day to hang out with The Paper.
Until next time.
Photo Credit: YouTube