Notes From Perry Street: Little Black Dress and my Cell Phone
By JOHN A. WINTERS, Publisher
My wife needed to borrow my phone for a couple of hours.
I will let that last sentence stand as-is for a few minutes.
Okay, that’s long enough.
My guess is about a third did the big-eye and gulp move; another third came up with every excuse and then some; and the remainder just handed it over and gave her the phone – with the correct PIN.
Sociologists, psychologists and other “ists” would see this as a great opportunity to study what one could argue is the ultimate marriage test. Basically, would you hand over your phone to your spouse? For those trying to be cute and hand over an old rotary phone, sorry, we are talking about that “smartphone” you spend hours with every day and does not include a landline.
Yes, hours every day. Is there anything we spend more time using or doing in a day? Breathing and other required functions to stay alive don’t count.
Anyhoo, back to The Little Black Dress and her need for my phone. There are two reasons. The first is relatively easy. I am still fighting this whatever has knocked me down and could not attend the Kiwawnis Clubs’ Citizen of the Year awards ceremony.
Enter my trusted Colleague (she likes that term) to take photos for The Paper and The Weekly. She is using mine because it takes very good photos. My Colleague’s phone does not, because …
And we come to the second reason. We have “encouraged” Corby (her real name) that it is time to let go and move on to a new phone.
The “why” is for several reasons. One, if she touches any kind of remote, phone, or Bluetooth-type device, there is a chance it will either blow up or it will take you hours to get your home screen back to where it was. Buttons will suddenly have new functions, like the volume up button now gives you the weather. Some cosmic touch thing.
Two, our dear Colleague has never met an email or a photo she does not love. And wants to keep it “just in case.” These photos include the ones you accidentally take of the ceiling or the floor (lots of those), blurred faces, and other photos where you kinda go “What the heck is that.”
If you listen carefully, you can hear her phone sob as she tries to save yet another photo or email. We don’t think the “delete” key has worked for quite some time.
But the night was a success and congratulations to all 10 of the nominees. I say success in part because our Colleague came back with some very nice photos we published in this publication.
A couple of side notes. It was quite interesting to see how many photos our former pageant queen was in. She was supposed to be taking photos, but somehow she became the photo.
Secondly, it is very, very weird to pick up your wife’s phone … she left it for me in case of emergency … although you can only hold it a certain way … and the name of the caller is, well, you.
I remember looking at my name on her phone as she called. I thought things would get really weird if I happened to answer and start a conversation with myself. On the other hand, it took her a while to actually get me, because she would call my number and my phone would answer – the one she was holding. So she had to call herself to get me. I know, weird.
Finally, it was on this day 30 years ago that the LBD, who wore a pink wedding gown, said “I do.” It has been a wild ride and there is no one else I would rather have at my side. Love you to my Colleague, the Little Black Dress, The Paper Girl, and our Ambassador at Large.
