The View From The Loft – March 2018
Finally here and welcomed after this dreadful winter. It’s time to get out of the house, shed the layers of clothes, enjoy the downtown Newnan Square and start thinking about spring break travel and summer vacation.
Whether you enjoy the beach, the mountains, theme parks or the streets of Paris, there is a good chance you might be flying somewhere. Having just retired as a flight attendant I feel it’s my duty to give you a glimpse of the airline experience from the crew’s perspective in hopes that you can avoid some of the daily mistakes passengers make every day.
When you stumble down the jetway with a toddler, a stroller, a Starbucks cup and a half eaten McDonald’s bag, don’t stop in the door and ask the flight attendant, “Do you have a trash can?” Of course we have a trash can.
Girls don’t fly planes. WOMEN fly planes. If one of your cockpit crew is female don’t ask the flight attendant, “Do we have a girl pilot?”
Practice your ABC’s and counting to 50 prior to boarding the plane. This will prevent you from having to ask, “Can you tell me where 5C is?” Yes ma’am 1-2-3-4-5-a-b-right here. Oh, and its written above the seat.
Be attentive during the safety demonstration. How would you like to stand up in front of 100 people and do a Vanna White pantomime trying to make a yellow mask and seatbelt buckle interesting?
After a mechanical delay, don’t ask, “Is this thing fixed?” We have family and friends too, so there is not much in Shreveport that would make me want to go 450 mph, seven miles up in the sky just hoping for the best.
When you are flying into Atlanta and the captain announces that there is a ground stop and we will wait 30 minutes for an update, don’t tell the flight attendant you have a connection in 50 minutes. No you don’t! Ground stop means closed.
And by the way, the pilots are not interested in your Weather Channel app or that you just talked to your brother in Newman and he said it’s not raining there Thank you but we will rely on the FAA and the National Weather Service.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED flying and had a fantastic time with the passengers. I met people from all over the world and hopefully played some small part in helping them get to their destination. Sometimes, however, I did have to disengage my mouth from my wicked mind.
Happy flying. Just remember what your mother always told you, “BEHAVE!”
(Jim Coleman is twice retired as a financial advisor and flight attendant. A theatre geek, musician, arts administrator and preservationists, he lived a relatively obscure life until he crossed paths with Corby Winters. Jm choose Newnan as his new forever home five years ago and is dedicated to making our community the best it can be.)