The View From The Loft

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I’m ready for Fall.

By the time this is published I hope we will be experiencing some legitimate Fall weather.  I like summer but enough is enough. Ninety degrees in October is way too much of a good thing.   You can remind me of that when I’m iced in in a few months.

We are preparing to leave on a cruise in the next few weeks.  My original thought was that a nice cruise would be a break from the crisp fall season and a restful preparation for the impending misery of winter.  Now we are paying tons of money to leave sweltering heat to go to Puerto Rico. It reminds me of my friends who live on St. Simons Island and vacation every year in Amelia Island, 60 miles down the coast.  What’s the point?

To add insult to injury, I went out in ninety-five degrees the other day to make one last round of the stores to see if there were any end of the season bargains only to become an innocent victim of HALLOTHANKSMAS.  There once was a clear delineation between the festive holidays at the end of the year. Now it’s just one big ole conglomeration of orange and black, shades of autumn along with red and green mixed with shiny blue, pink, turquoise and every kind of glitter known to mankind.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had an occasion at my house that required a Frankenstein mask, a horn of plenty and a baby Jesus all at once.

In the midst of all this craziness, I overheard a lovely grandmother type ask a child, “what are you gonna dress up as on Halloween?”  Suddenly my creative mind went crazy. Of course, there are the usual choices; a witch, a hobo, a ghost or a princess. The next step is to become more character specific like Freddy Kruger, Superman, the Joker or a former or current President.  The most creative one I’ve ever seen was at an adult Halloween party several years ago when someone came as Martha Stewart passing out recipes for no-bake cookies dressed in a jumpsuit that said “orange is the new black” on the back.

But why waste all these resources in this big box store?  Without even going back to the car you could transform yourself into a Pilgrim, a turkey (complete with feathers from the silk flower department) or a Christmas princess bedecked in a tree skirt with multi-colored sparkling garland and a tree topper for a crown.  And we don’t have the space here to discuss all the possibilities of a couple of yards of velvet from the fabric department and a hot glue gun from aisle 7… Fabulous!!

I’m happy to report that I don’t have the dilemma of making up my mind what I’m going to be a Halloween.  I’m over 60, overweight, bald and short … that’s scary enough.

Happy scary merry grateful HALLOTHANKSMAS from our house to your house.

(Jim Coleman is twice retired as a financial advisor and flight attendant. A theatre geek, musician, arts administrator and preservationists, he lived a relatively obscure life until he crossed paths with Corby Winters. Jm choose Newnan as his new forever home five years ago and is dedicated to making our community the best it can be.)

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